Free Indirect Discourse

Just a place holder for a link to a passage by Henry Louis Gates, Jr., on narrative voice and free indirect discourse. He's speaking of Ralph Ellison, Zora Neale Hurston, Richard Wright, etc. I am contemplating narrative and narrative voice at the moment.

Do Ultra-Conservative Christians Help You Love Jesus?

"Why Can't I Own a Canadian?" and are conservative Christians leading people to Jesus or away from him? The first question is the title of a letter penned sometime before 2002 in response to Dr Laura Schlesinger's comments about homosexuality in the Old Testament. She is a conservative who once said she was an Orthodox Jew but supposedly distanced herself from orthodoxy later.

My friend Regis Auffray, a Canadian, posted the letter at AuthorsDen and told me about it in the wake of Dr. Laura's recently giving up her radio show. Apparently she couldn't handle the people who disapproved of her use of the "n" word as she talked to a black woman about the woman's marriage to a white man. She says she's giving up her show so she can regain her right to free speech, and I guess she's desperate to use that word.

Anyway, I decided to look up "Why Can't I Own a Canadian?" and when I did, I discovered the letter went viral long ago. While Dr. Laura is associated with the Jewish faith, however, I've seen responses that focus on Christianity, and I guess that's because in America, conservative Christians have become closely associated with opposing gay people.

My curiosity about this letter led me to a website called Christwire.org. On the surface the site seems like a "Christian" website, but it's actually satire set up to ridicule conservative Christians.
The site frequently presents ineffective satire as a form of sociopolitical protest because it's hard to determine the joke and is more often mistaken to be actual conservative Christians objecting to liberals taking over the country. That is, some of its content is so close to the nonsense that comes out of some bigots and ultra-conservatives' mouths that the content is painfully not amusing.

For instance, the letter I came across "responding" to "Why Can't I Own a Canadian?" is written under the same title as the original but is supposedly penned by a woman named Amber who goes on about Mexicans.

Growing up in Southern California, my family was blessed to own three house Mexicans. Though they did not speak much American, they still had hearts of gold.

They would cook, clean, garden and tend to my siblings and me, all with a kindly smile and steadfast determination. At the end of the day, dad would give them a bit of money and usually some food or other nice things to take home with them.

The older lady of them, Dona Josefa, lived with us throughout a good portion of the school year. Memories of her smiling eyes and taco-scented hugs still fill my heart with warmth to this very day.

Technically, her response qualifies as a satirical composition because satire should go over the top for common speech and behavior, but sadly, her commentary doesn't go over the top enough to let the reader in on the joke. The problem is that it seems too believable. I've heard real people express the kinds of sentiments expressed in Amber's fake post who are racist but so seriously blind to their own racism that they make the same kinds of statements she makes. The comments about Mexicans in her post remind me of statements I heard blue-haired white women make about their black maids and gardeners in the south years ago.

So, it's not obvious Amber's letter is a joke until you read the comments section in which she responds to people angry at her and her racist-sounding statements. In the first comment, Amber seems offended that the person could not tell she was kidding. The more difficult it is for a reader to discern that "you're kidding," the more likely it is you've failed to deliver effective satire.

Months later, however, she's less defensive when she responds to, Rick, someone claiming to be an offended Canadian, with this:

Holy shit, I’m sorry. Seriously, I had no idea Canadians had access to the internet. My most heartfelt apologies… Thank god Mexicans still don’t know how to use computers, I’d really be fucked.

I guess by that time, her attachment to her work had dwindled and she remained in character.

As I visited this site, I pondered how much must a group of people despise conservative Christians to create a website ridiculing them. Is this hate really about hating people who profess to believe in Jesus of Nazareth as the Christ or is it about loathing a particular type of person who calls him or herself Christian and projects disdain for others?

After talking to people on Facebook and elsewhere who say they are Christians and embrace ultra conservativism, I observe how often such people talk about their hostility toward liberals, President Barack Obama, progressive ideology, and Democratic Party policy all the while declaring a deep love for love of America. They talk about how much they hate liberals and love America far more than they ever talk about Jesus, who supposedly they love with all their hearts.

What's wrong with this picture? Do politically conservative Christians seek to lead people to Jesus or to an ideology. There's need for distinction. I'm just saying.

Dear Dr. Lauara: Why Can't I Own A Canadian ... Again?

As posted in 2002 at Humanists of Utah.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of
debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

Continue reading at Humanists of Utah.

Ellen DeGeneres Does Hip Hop With Twitch on SYTYCD

Ellen DeGeneres danced a Napoleon and Tabitha Hip Hop routine on the So You Think You Can Dance finale Thursday night with Twitch. It was the one previously performed by Twitch with Alex Wong to "Outta Your Mind" by Lil Jon. Seriously, Ellen stole the show. Here's the video. I laughed my behind off because the big build up was a special "dancing superstar" would join Twitch on stage.



Lauren Froderman, 18, the only girl left in the competition, won the title of America's Favorite Dancer, 2010.

And below is Janelle Monae's "Tight Rope" performance from last week's results show in which AdéChiké was voted off. Some of you only know this as the song from the Target commercial with the little girls sliding in their socks.



I'm sure some viewers were surprised that Mia Michaels chose an AdéChiké performance as one of her favorites to be repeated during the finale, and I'm equally sure her selection was a calculated public relations choice after the fallout over her criticism of him earlier in the season. Mia chose his Hip Hop routine with Comfort, danced to Alicia Keys's "Fallin'."



For those who called Mia Michaels comments "racist" when AdéChiké performed Bollywood, I still disagree with you there. However, I will say that while he and Comfort danced this HipHop routine particularly well, I suspect that all the ooing and ahhing from the judges over the great "connection" the pair made is due as much to the couple's dancing as it is to the assumption of the judges that black people readily identify with lovers in violent relationships, perhaps some assumptions about AdéChiké & Comfort's backgrounds that were made based on race and not on the facts of their individual upbringings the same way some whites assume all black people know where to buy illegal drugs.

I said, "I supsect." There's a big difference between suspecting an opinion is influenced by paternalistic racism and saying that it is unequivocally so.

Oil Spill? What Oil Spill? BP Updates from a Woman on Vacation

National media is still on the BP Gulf of Mexico oil leak/spill/greatest environmental disaster of all time/oilpocalypse--whatever the media gurus are calling it now. CNN is reporting on the next phase of well fixing, putting mud in the well, called a "static kill." Next comes relief wells.

Watching the video at the top of this post, I marvel at how I'm not breaking out in hives. The video reminds me of my past doing government PR and writing scripts about what a great job our engineers were doing to protect groundwater from nuclear contamination at a plutonium facility.

I'm not saying the BP video is untrue. I'm saying I'm aware that parading experts out to explain technical solutions is an effective way to calm the majority of the public and stall inquiry even when scientists know of specific dangers and disagree about assorted solutions, such as the Gov. Bobby Jindal "solution" for wetlands remediation and protection.

I had to let news about the Deepwater Horizon leak go for a while. Talking and writing about this ecological disaster consistently began to wear on my nerves. Actually, blogging and dealing with people in general had worn me thin, which is why I took a blog break, and technically, I'm still on that break because I'm not writing anything heavy or doing research about anything. Tomorrow, I'll hit the road and drive up the east coast, hoping to see a dolphin or two.

Nevertheless, who could ignore the news that BP finally kicked its CEO Tony Hayward out, replacing him with Bob Dudley of Mississippi? The move is part of the company rebuilding its image. Showing Tony "I want my life back" Hayward the door may help since Hayward rubbed me and most sane people the wrong way. Dudley may help the company appear to be more humble during this crisis.

As reported by NPR, his first message was BP will scale back its clean-up efforts. That's definitely not a message anyone would have stomached from Hayward's lips. Even from Dudley's mouth, it was not taken easily. He said the company will still work to restore the Gulf, but since there's less oil on the surface and the company's temporary cap finally worked well enough to stop all oil from seeping into the waters, the area doesn't need such an aggressive remediation effort.

After tropical storm Bonnie went through, returning workers had trouble even finding oil on the surface. However, environmental scientists say that doesn't mean the oil is not there under the surface or so dispersed that it's hard to see with the naked eye. Congressman Ed Markey of Massachusetts has stayed on the BP's case, currently accusing them of "carpet-bombing" the Gulf of Mexico with dispersants.

See, this is where I start to get that headache again. Folks are arguing back and forth, even going so far as to say the oil leak was exaggerated and not a great disaster. The spin machines are working triple-time on all sides. Every fact is up for twisting. Where's my Tylenol?